Friday, October 29, 2021

Dreamers won't last long by dimapolard - Pola_rized

 


I hear the echoes........echoes in my head, hurtling inside me. It pulls me outside. The outside vibration breaks through barriers me my usual message.

"Wake up......dude......it's 4.30 in the morning."

It's my alarm. My morning companion.

I slowly send my hand and off him. 

"Off you go buddy..... duty is over." It's the instincts.

My eye's haven't opened yet. They need time. Slowly and gently I open them.

The blur effect in front of my hud takes time to generate it's textures, locales, and details. As the graphic generation completes my small tiny world is in front of me.

I can see the posters of my school, my favorite band, blah blah. Outsourced graffiti.

I can see my PC, my wardrobe, table and etc. which is owned by the narrator.

Everything is Pitch Black except for my glow-in-the-dark clock which shows 4.45 A.M.

Suddenly the lights on. Like a clockwork, mother brings my morning tea with her usual beautiful smile and keeps it in the table. I always used to praise my mother's smile with my friends. What they said was "You lack hormones" man. I didn't cared.

but as I jumped out of my bed and went to the bathroom. Some of the facts about "hormones" seems to arouse. What I always feel is why I spent such a lot of time inside the bathroom. I believe in censorship. Even for myself I believe in privacy. I sold out my soul for a little joy for a few moment. But after a wash and everything I feel new again. My hud is not gloomy now. It's like wearing Night vision goggles. I feel so mentally alive.

Within a flash I'm in my uniform having tea.

I walk outside from my room! the world awaits with more responsibilities and challengers. I always felt what if I can just live the first half and hours of my day over and over.......WOW.

I see my mother with my lunch packet. I worship her before I leave to school. I put my lunch inside my bag as I hear the school van honking its horn. My father works in a bank as an auditor. He might have left already. Though I was the only child of my family my parents who are both employed since when I was very small didn't pay attention to me that much. 

These complicated undetermined thoughts rallied to my head for a while till I was walking to the van.

My school van is another social community that I have being knowing from a long time. There are students of very different ages who go to different schools. There are people of both sexes. I didn't like the girls. 

I know why? It's probably because they were taller and good-looking and always seem to be by themselves. 

What I do in the van is sit near a window and observe the morning glory. 

I really use to fall in love with the first sight on beautiful girls in awesome vehicles.

I felt carried away sometimes.

But those feelings kept me alive. Kept me breathing. Man.....

What am I...........

As I walked after dropped near the School I said one of fellow mates in the van that I will take the bus after school. As I kept walking in to my school and sat in my chair and keeping my things on the table my mind really requires a rest. Man...... Time is soo slow...... It's like sometimes spending years.....and sometimes spending miliseconds. I was always lost in the illusion of time loosing the grasp of the real world. Thinking.....letting my mind rule my empire....let him seek his desires while my real life responsibilities left aside. I know......I have to do something.........

I take a deep breath............

Trying understand what was I doing with my entire life.

Or was I Still dreaming and am I still in my bed.............

Sometimes I feel where the hell am I...........................

 




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